bye bye 2013

What a year. These past couple of years I seem to feel a little blue on New Year's Eve, it's a new feeling for me. I think it's because of my traumatic start to 2012, I was so sure 2012 was going to be a great year & three days into it I nearly died. 2013 was a great year, I'm healthy, my sweet family is healthy and our home is filled with love. I realize there are challenges ahead in 2014...my father-in-law is not well and we are desperate to spend as much time together as a family. I have high hopes for the new year but deep inside I feel the fragility that is possible.

Here are some photos from the past year...it really was a good one...I sure do love my babes.

beckett's 6th birthday party

This post is incredibly late....Beckett's party was in August, it's now December - time sure flies. Our boy loves HotWheels, so the theme this year was easy. It was a beautiful, sunny day & we shared it with friends and family. I loved that some of Beckett's friends from school were able to make it.

The photo in the middle is Beckett & his best friend Finn. Seriously, how cute is that? Finn is in the other grade one class at school, the boys find each other at lunch & they love spending time together. Finn also happens to have Down syndrome. My heart is full when I think of the boys going through their school years together.

My sweet friend Denise made the cake (again), she really is the queen of cakes. Sonia at Sugary Sweet Things made the cookies. We set up two major HotWheels tracks in the backyard & the kids raced cars all afternoon.

It really was a great day. Beckett had the best time, he loves a party & party he did. Our kids like to blow out candles, over and over and over again. So we light the cake, sing and relight it. Then we light a cupcake, sing and relight it. It's quite the process & there is pure happiness with every candle that gets blown out.

The only chance we have of getting a family shot is during the cake...we have til the end of Happy Birthday to sneak in a five-shot. There are lots of hugs, many kisses and too many smiles to count. It was nice to do this post five months after the party....such a great reminder of a fantastic day. xx

zoë is five

Zoë Frances Noriko Genn is five today. I remember the day she came into the world so well. Born at 8:55am, ZoZo (as we like to call her) was 8 pounds, 1 ounce and 21 inches long. Dave & I were so excited to have a baby girl join our family. It was an emotional day for a number of reasons, I was grateful to also have my best friend Saleema in the delivery room. There were tears of joy & a sigh of relief - she was healthy.

Beckett was very intrigued...I love this photo of Beckett inspecting his little sister. I knew in this moment that the relationship between Beckett & Zoë would be intense and important. My biggest fear when Beckett was born was that he would be alone once Dave & I were gone...he needed a team and I was going to build him one.  Zoë was the first person on his team, Poppy would follow two years later. Our boy has his little sisters to love him and he loves them back with pure joy.

Zoë was an easy baby, she ate and slept like a dream. She always looked at people with her brows scrunched up, as if she was trying to figure out who they really were. Dave always joked that he hoped Zoë looked like me but acted like him. Personality-wise, she is my clone. It's unbelievable, she opens her mouth to talk and my words and attitude come out. I'm secretly overjoyed.

Beckett & Zoë are 13 months apart in age, ZoZo quickly caught up to Beckett - she walked before he did, she talked before he did. Zoë doesn't know that Beckett has Down syndrome, it hasn't come up yet.  We'll talk about it one day, maybe soon - maybe later. I love how Zoë sees Beckett just as he is - perfect.

It was difficult to choose just a few photos of Zoë...These are some of my favourites. As you can see the girl has a sense of humour, a zest for life and the ability to create an atmosphere of love and happiness wherever she may be.

Everyday is a new adventure with all three of our children, the experiences are unique as they are each so different. This morning at 6am,  Zoë climbed into our bed...I whispered Happy Birthday (she giggled with excitement) and I asked her if she felt different.  She replied "Yes, I do". "How do you feel different?"...."I feel five".

Happy Birthday my love. Thank you for filling my heart.  

poppy is three

My baby. My baby is three today. I have been thinking about this day for weeks, trying to hold onto Poppy's last days as a two year old with all my might. I'm not ready for her to be three. When we have our bedtime story and our nightly song and cuddle together I remind her that she is my baby.  She says "I not a baby, I a girl". True. But she will always be my baby.

photo by ka davidson

Poppy came into the world at 8:17am weighing 8 pounds 15 ounces, she was 20.5 inches long - born on my grandparent's wedding anniversary. Her shock of black hair was amazing, we were convinced that our third baby most reflected Dave's Japanese heritage. We were wrong.

just a few days old with my childhood teddy bear

We were so excited to bring Poppy home to meet her big brother and sister, imagining our household as a family of five. It was an exciting time and still is.  I love the relationship that has developed between these three.

photo by ka davidson

photo by mika inokoshi

This photo is of Poppy when she was 6 months old, as you can see she doesn't have her dark hair or eyes or olive skin. Dave and I never thought we would have a blue-eyed babe...I love staring into those baby blues.

photo by ka davidson

This is Poppy on her first birthday. Her personality is sweet, her laugh is infectious and her cuddles are addictive. 

photo by kyrani kanavaros

This is my favourite photo of Poppy. It was taken in our backyard, I look at this photo and see magic. This is a girl who will do great things, she will dream big and light up the world with her spark. Her love for Beckett and Zoë is pure joy, I know they will be best friends for life.

photo by kyrani kanavaros
This is Poppy at two years old, taken in the same park as her portrait on her first birthday. Sweet.

photo by kyrani kanavaros
Christmas 2012. They hold my heart. 

photo by kyrani kanavaros

Happy birthday sweet Poppy. You are three today. You are and always will be my baby. Thank you for filling my heart with so much love. xx

beckett is six

On this day six years ago at 8:21am I became a mother for the first time. It was the most glorious moment of my life, followed by some dark, scary days. Thankfully the fear was short lived and we have had six beautiful years filled with love and pure joy. Beckett is six today. I can't believe how fast it has gone, I'm desperate to hold onto each day and savour every second. These are the best days of my life and it's because of my children. Here's each year of sweet Beckett's life so far...

This is Beckett minutes after he was born, 6 pounds 14 ounces and 19 inches long. It's also the moment I fell hopelessly in love and my life changed forever. This photo means so much to me, there's more here than I can ever explain.

photo by KA Davidson

Beckett is seven weeks old in this photo, his first photo shoot.  We were getting settled at this point, we knew Beckett had Down syndrome and had been to numerous doctors appointments. Our boy was healthy and happy. Dave and I were in love with this boy and so was everyone who met him.

photo by KA Davidson

This is Beckett at 1 year old, getting cuter and sweeter by the second. I could get lost looking into those big brown eyes.

photo by KA Davidson

Beckett is two years old in this photo, he had just started to walk and we were thrilled.  As you can tell from this photo, he liked to laugh a lot - and he still does. His laugh is one of my favourite sounds.

photo by KA Davidson

I love this photo. This is Beckett at three years old, playing the drum set Dave bought him when he was born. We had the drums in the back yard, which he was pretty happy about.

photo by KA Davidson

Oh those eyes, how I love them. Beckett is four years old here. A beautiful boy and a great big brother to Zoë and Poppy.

photo by Kyrani Kanavaros

At five years old Beckett loved trains and dinosaurs, not much has changed in that department - but we can now add Hot Wheels to the list! This would be the year Beckett entered Kindergarten, a big step. He loved his first year at school and even lost his two bottom teeth, his new chompers are still growing in.

photo by Kyrani Kanavaros

And this is what six looks like. I still can't believe it, our boy is six. We had a birthday party for Beckett last Saturday, the theme was Hot Wheels (of course) and we had a great time. I'll post more pictures of the party soon. I love that some of Beckett's friends from school came to the party, he was so happy to see them. This boy has grown a lot in the last year. We started an intense food therapy last November and now Beckett is eating the same foods as his sisters. He has his favourites, he loves peanut butter, cucumbers and cherries! Beckett is continuing with his reading and speech therapy sessions and improving each month. It's been a big year of growth. It has also been a year of love. This boy has brought us more happiness than we could have ever imagined.

photo by Kyrani Kanavaros

Happy Birthday Beckett. We love you. xx

celebrating 70

I love surprise parties, especially when I get to throw them and it's for someone I love. My mom just turned 70, a milestone for sure. My brother Frank and I were trying to figure out what we could do for her birthday, he lives in Panama so our first idea was to take her on a trip - just the three of us. After weeks of thought I began to imagine a small party with her closest friends and family. It would be a surprise, in seventy years she had never experienced a surprise party. What fun we had.

There were fifteen of us for dinner, we hired someone to come in to make dinner - it was Italian and it was amazing. I had never done this before but a friend suggested it, they worked with our budget and we were able to visit and not worry about what was happening on the stove. I also asked my friend Kyrani Kanavaros to come to take photos, I knew she would capture the evening for us and we could have the memories forever.

The best part of the night was that our kids were there to experience it. They had no idea what a "surprise party" was but once explained they loved it. My mom was so happy to have her three treasures with her.  Of course the biggest surprise of the night was that my brother snuck into town, the look on my mom's face when she saw him was priceless. 

When I was little my mom would throw me the greatest birthday parties. Lots of friends, cake and family. I was so happy to do this for her, to give her a night with her most loved that she will always remember. The cake was from Butter Baked Goods and it was delicious.

I had to light the candles on the cake about five times, the kids love to blow out the candles and everyone needed a try. I love this picture, I know our kids will look at this decades from now and remember this time with great happiness. xx

first play date

photo by kyrani kanavaros

This was in my inbox last week.

Hi Dave & Tamara,



A little while ago Aurora asked me if she could have a play date with Beckett sometime. We would be very happy to arrange this, if you and Beckett are interested. Aurora is trying to make a few more friends in her class, and when I asked her which kids are the nicest, she mentioned Beckett. I hope that you'll consider arranging something with us.

Thanks,
 Lisa

When I received this e-mail I had to pause and process my feelings. Lisa couldn’t know that by sending this e-mail she was opening up five years of feelings and fears.  Yes, it’s just a simple invitation to play but this is different – it’s the first time a “typical” child has asked my son to do something.  In my world, this is huge.

When Beckett was just days old, I would stay up late with him asleep in my arms, fretting over whether he would have any friends. Would he be bullied? Would other children want to play with him?  When Beckett was a few months old I met someone who worked for the School Board, I shared my fear of high school and they said to me “Kids with Down syndrome can be quite lonely in school – no one wants to be best friends with the kid with Down syndrome”.  Insert knife in heart here. I have never forgotten those words. Ever. When I received Lisa’s e-mail I wanted to cry and I secretly hoped that Aurora would feel the same way about Beckett when they get to high school.

I hadn’t met Aurora yet and I already loved her.  Maybe it was Lisa’s idea, maybe she instinctively knew that children with special needs usually don’t get asked over for play dates?  I don’t care, I instantly adored Lisa for doing this.

We went for the play date yesterday afternoon.  I was over the moon. Beckett was happy but he didn’t understand what we were doing, I tried to explain but it didn’t really have any impact.

Aurora was waiting in the window and when we walked in Lisa explained that she had been excited all week.  Beckett took one look at Aurora’s toys, realized he was in heaven and proceeded to play with every toy and ignore Aurora.  Very disappointing for sweet Aurora. 

My bliss turned to reality once I realized that Beckett didn’t know how to have a play date – I found myself explaining to everyone that he was so excited to see their toys, that’s why he was playing on his own - Beckett would eventually want to play with Aurora (fingers crossed).  It’s challenging because Beckett’s speech is delayed, he can communicate but not as well as a typical five year old. It’s hard for his peers to understand him.

I found myself analyzing the situation, is this play date going sideways because Beckett has Down syndrome or because he’s a boy or both? He was having a good time, a really good time – by himself.

By the end of the date I realized, like most other things, we would need to guide Beckett and get him used to the idea of a play date.  Aurora is now coming over this week to have a play date at our house.  She will meet Beckett’s sisters, I’m sure they’ll get along great.

 

photo by kyrani kanavaros

I have saved Lisa’s e-mail, I read it daily. Aurora thinks Beckett is one of the nicest kids in her class. That makes me happy. It settles my fears. Aurora is right.

world down syndrome day

Today is the 8th Annual World Down Syndrome Day. The 21st day of the 3rd month was chosen as the day to celebrate and signify the uniqueness of the triplication (trisomy) of the 21st chromosome which causes Down syndrome.

Today, we raise awareness of what Down syndrome is, what it means to have Down syndrome and how people with Down syndrome play a vital role in our lives and communities. We celebrate Beckett everyday in our house, his extra chromosome presents some challenges but that's okay. There was a time when I was filled with fear, I didn't know anything about Down syndrome. That has changed, I'm an expert now! I hope I can teach others there is nothing to fear. People with Down syndrome are just like you - they have feelings, they love, they have dreams. The thought of someone judging my son based on his extra chromosome breaks my heart.

Our dreams for Beckett are no different than our dreams for our daughters. Be happy, be bright, be you. Happy World Down Syndrome Day. Next time you see someone with Down syndrome, say hi - you'll be pleasantly surprised.  xx